Dispatches from the Colbertiverse

Swag-R-Us

Laurie — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 00:12:00 +0000

It looks like someone captured a neat piece of Report swag, and is sharing it. Check out this mug on eBay!

Republican family values

Laurie — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 04:43:00 +0000

I don't judge, I just pass 'em along.

Stephen Colbert Steps Forward to Claim Anna Nicole's Baby

Ooooooooh!

Laurie — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 00:33:00 +0000

Chris Funk's guitar from the shred-off is for sale on eBay! Go look!

I feel like dancing!

Truth — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 05:56:00 +0000

I've had sort of a sad day, so instead of publishing anything newsworthy, I've decided to share the wonderful YouTube video which consists of clips of Stephen dancing. It's silly stuff, but fun stuff. Enjoy.

Oh, and NPR's "On the Media" did a brief story about how awesome "The Colbert Report" is.

From Rocky Coast to Golden Shore

Truth — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 06:32:00 +0000

Since it's a break week for the show and a holiday, there's not much news out there. But there is good news for one member of the Colbert Report family. Eagles are no longer a protected species in North America! Yay!

Now, Stephen Jr., go find a mate and keep it that way.

As always, former Senator and Attorney General John Ashcroft put it best:

News of the Newsstand

Truth — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 05:21:00 +0000

Coming soon to a newsstand (or, odds are, the "magazine" section of a conglomerate chain bookstore) near you is the October 15th issue of New York magazine, with dazzling cover boy Stephen Colbert. For those of us with neither patience nor money, the story is available online.

Tape Deck

Truth — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 05:12:00 +0000

Let's all welcome two new sections of this site. They're on related subjects--attending tapings of "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" and "The Colbert Report."

You can read the FAQ, which tells you anything you might need to know about obtaining tickets to and attending both shows. If you're unable to make it, you can bask in the experiences of other fans at the Taping Recaps page. Sometimes there are pictures. Enjoy!

The No...Fact Zone?

Truth — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 05:08:00 +0000

Chuck Norris has nothing on Stephen.

Introducing a new page to Colbert's Heroes: Stephen Colbert Truths. I don't believe in letting so-called "facts" get in the way of writing a trivia page.

Wonkette

Truth — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 04:57:00 +0000

We'd like to announce the debut of a new site in the Colbert-centric portion of the Internet. Wonky Ear, the frighteningly comprehensive image archive.

Godless Sodomites Strike Again

Truth — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 04:55:00 +0000

The background of these pages has been turned black, in protest of the Emmy Awards' choice to snub our favorite pundit and his hard-working staff in all categories. (Although apparently there's a writer for that liberal mouthpiece "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" who has the same name, and I bet people get them confused all the time. That show won for "Best Writing, Comedy, Variety or Musical Series.") I ~~have a life~~ am too distraught to provide full coverage, so check out the wonderful Colbert-centric Emmy night coverage provided by my good friends at No Fact Zone and Livejournal.

It took me four minutes to crash a server in Saginaw

Truth — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 04:47:00 +0000

Well, Stephen's drunk with power, unable to keep a straight face during his show, and up to more Internet mayhem. First, it was Wikipedia. Then, the bridge in Hungary. Now, it's a poor defenseless minor league hockey team in Michigan, whose mascot we are supposed to vote to name "Colbeagle."

When will it stop? When will the vandalism stop?! Stephen, aren't you supposed to control your legions and steer them toward good, not evil? You'll only get it back from the Internet in the end when your site gets hacked.

Oh wait, that already happened.

Freakin' sweet!

Truth — Sun, 13 Aug 2006 04:45:00 +0000

In case you haven't reminded yourself lately why Internet viral video is incredibly fun, take a peek at the Stephen Colbert Star Wars Video Challenge. There have been a few entries already (within 48 hours of the show airing!)

Nyah

Truth — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 04:43:00 +0000

I (truth) am attending tonight's taping of the show. And you're not. Nyah.

Colbert Tarnation

Truth — Mon, 24 Jul 2006 04:42:00 +0000

As some fans have learned, the Colbert Nation site has re-opened with a snazzy new design and a functioning messageboard. I'm flattered that you're mimicking me, Avery.

The message board quickly descended into troll-filled chaos, yet I can't look away.

Occasionally, there are real gems.

Better Know a Disaster

Truth — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 04:39:00 +0000

Congressman Robert Wexler of Florida speaks out about his experience being interviewed for "Better Know a District."

Jesus vs. Godzilla

Truth — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 04:30:00 +0000

Fan art featuring Jesus vs. Godzilla. Fine, but doesn't Jesus have the power to resurrect himself and thus have infinite life power and defeat all comers, including godless lizards? Sounds like we have here an artist of little faith.

ZOMGWTFBBQBEARS.

Truth — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 04:23:00 +0000

This doesn't have anything to do with this site, but it's too good not to share. This page at YTMND features a screen shot from the official "Colbert Report" site that set off massive giggle fits here at Colbert's Heroes headquarters.

Terror too, sure, but mostly giggle fits.

Heroes Posse

Truth — Sat, 03 Jun 2006 04:32:00 +0000

Check out ColbertPosse.com to read about the "Andre the Giant" parody sticker and to purchase stickers of your very own. You can be a hero and part of a posse. Very badass.

The return of Stephen Colbert to viral video

Truth — Wed, 31 May 2006 04:18:00 +0000

Last week, Stephen was in our nation's capital and wandered into the watchful camera lens of the interns of Congressman Jack Kingston (R-GA). Watch him inquire about the admission requirements for the Minutemen--probably so he himself can join (or have an assistant do it) and keep our nation's borders safe. God bless you, Mr. Colbert!

All they want is cake

Truth — Wed, 17 May 2006 04:04:00 +0000

We at Colbert's Heroes headquarters celebrated our leader's birthday with a cake.

A cake that tastes like freedom mingled with buttercream. Happy birthday, Sir.

July 17, 2006 - Episode Commentary

Truth — Wed, 19 Jul 2006 03:12:00 +0000

Professor Lee Silver, Challenging Nature
Sleeves: French cuffs

*hiccup*
Did someone fill the studio with nitrous oxide? Everyone is giggly tonight!
I'm afraid I couldn't hear the opening monologue this evening, as
people were laughing too loudly. However, I did manage to catch via
studio monitor Bullet's part of The Word, which I can only assume once again relates to your strange mating rituals.

Hmph. Genetic engineering. I know nothing about it, other than feeling that
anyone who thinks gr-eagles is a good idea should be taken out and shot. As
such, I'm allowing an audience member who's apparently studying the ethics
of biotechnology to talk about this.

Medicine is going against nature the bitch? By...using aspirin,
derived from trees? And 60% of land sure is cropped, but not-argh! I can
already tell Prof. Lee Silver is going to be one of those scientists who
irritate me.
So, Stephen is talking about the August 2001 approval of existing lines,
which was said would be dozens, if not more. The problem with this theory is
that in reality, the useful lines approved in that August were, by many
counts, at one dozen, if not less. Obviously, you can see the problem -
classic or not, those stem cell lines need to be, upgraded if you will.

Prof. Silver gave an absolutely god-awful analogy about the size of embryos,
talking about how small they are, and that our President believes that of
these individual embryos are a unique human life - and that if you were to
put them all in a cup and sneeze, then inhale one, you'd be guilty of
cannibalism.

Stephen had the right question - just how often does that happen? This is
the number one problem when hard scientists attempt to address any
potentially ethical issue in medicine: they abstract out so far that the
examples are not only pointless, they're ludicrous.

Nevertheless, Stephen plays along, and asks him about the dead skin cells
from the body. Silver says it's the same thing, which leads to the common
response of "wha?" in me. I believe for Stephen, that phrase translates,
loosely, into "you're saying [if I stopped loofahing] I'd have babies on my
arm?"

Silver says that he's making the converse argument, that skin cells and
embryos are the same thing - no life, just cells. This, of course, is an
incredibly simplistic argument that doesn't acknowledge things like
religion. While of course, this is part of Silver's argument, that
biotechnology and religion are at an impasse in our country, This is
definitely true and I'm not even going to try to argue it. But what Silver
is apparently missing is a humility gene of his own, that might allow he is
wrong in his idea. Instead he takes the hard science is right tact,
nevermind the fact that in this very silly interview, he even acknowledges
that things have to change as knowledge changes.

Thank you, audience member!

...and don't tell Stephen I told you, but you should see the number
of lemons I had Tad deliver to his dressing room while the show was filming!
Perhaps then he might get the hint to apologize to me for the sheer terror
of the MagnaMorphs.

G'night, everybody!

July 13, 2006 - Episode Commentary

Truth — Sat, 15 Jul 2006 03:11:00 +0000

July 13th, 2006 - commentary by Liberty
Guest: Ron Suskind: The 1% Doctrine
Sleeves: French cuffs

The Hand-off

A pirate? A pirate? Great, does this mean I get upstaged by a featherin' parrot now? At least you can get them in red, white and blue... at least it crapped on him. And I guess I need to give Stephen grudging kudos for breaking Jon; it has been a while,...slacker.

Ooh, opening credits. See, there I am! And then Stephen waves me away with the flag, sigh. I fought so hard against that - I should have landed on him! At least I get to fly in your face,...

You guys are noisy tonight. Although the feed showed Jon had a much noiser audience; are you saying you like Owen Wilson better, eh? Eh? And apparently last week had the lowest TV ratings in a while. Is anyone really surprised by this? C'mon, we were on break - what else is there to watch? (Aside from So I Think You Can Dance, that is.)

The Word: Inquisition
Bullet says Joe Lieberman tongued the President - you humans have weird mating rituals. Is this how you establish rank? Whomever gets the most tongue is highest in the pack?

Threatdown
5) Canadian Drugs. Yes Stephen, we do need to actually say all our words. And please never throw devil horns again - you're scaring me, and there's nowhere to run.
4) Fake sperm. Look, if you're not going to continually sell Formula 401, what do you expect?
3) Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan is not the threat here - you combining your Chris Tucker impression with throwing devil horns is.
2) Rogue waves. Who cares if the plankton greet us as liberators, the plankton mean more food for the things salmon eat - which means more salmon for me. Yeah!
1) Stephen! Stephen! You promised to never show me MagnaMorphs again! The be-eagle/gr-eagle scares me, Stephen! YOU PROMISED!

I don't care about Ron Suskind! I'm leaving! I'm going outside and I'm not coming back in until you apologize or you leave!

Site recommendation

Truth — Wed, 05 Jul 2006 21:24:00 +0000

New section

Truth — Mon, 03 Jul 2006 21:19:00 +0000

To keep fans entertained during the holiday weekend and break from new shows, the Interviews page opens with a modest assortment of interviews dating back to 2003. More to follow.